[Alfie startles, a little, and he turns to look at the bot more fully. He'd been expecting something more... artificial-sounding, he supposes. Some sort of Siri-esque I'm sorry Mr. Solomons, I didn't catch that. But Siri had been all the rage when he was a kid, so it's no surprise that things have advanced by now. And aren't people always saying how amazingly lifelike these new models are?]
Nah.
[He clears his throat.]
Seems strange to have a conversation with you, that's all.
Whatever suits you, sir. [ The bot tells him, eyes on the wall again. ] I can remain silent, if you prefer. According to general surveys, fifty percent of users prefer their androids to be silent while performing tasks, and the other fifty prefer an android who socializes with them while performing tasks.
It depends on who you ask. Those who buy androids for companionship prefer interesting personalities. I was not created to be a companion as my primary function.
Oh, I'm sure they say they want interesting personalities. They probably even think it. But the thing about interesting personalities is that they aren't always agreeable.
Of course. Upon purchase, owners are given the chance to customize personality traits given to companion androids. That function is available as an update to androids of my line, as well.
I can research the most requested traits for you if you'd like, Mr. Solomons.
I suppose you know what happens to the ones that get sent back? Resale's illegal; it's an issue of privacy, they say. Apparently, you could overhear all sorts of things, hanging around our houses as you do.
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Nah.
[He clears his throat.]
Seems strange to have a conversation with you, that's all.
[And yet here he is, starting to do just that.]
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No. My preference is your preference. [ But maybe there's a hint of curiosity, there. ]
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Well, that's boring, isn't it. But then, I suppose people don't want bots to be interesting; not really.
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It depends on who you ask. Those who buy androids for companionship prefer interesting personalities. I was not created to be a companion as my primary function.
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I can research the most requested traits for you if you'd like, Mr. Solomons.
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Perhaps that is why you were given a cleaning android and not a companion, then.
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I suppose so.
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Is there anything you would like me to take care of, Mr. Solomons, or should I perhaps stand outside out of your sight?
[ Is that - sass? No, it can't be. It's a very sincere question. Probably. It's supposed to be. ]
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[Says Alfie, instead of answering.]
I wonder, what would happen to you if I told you to walk out of here?
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Where would you want me to go?
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I must be mad, trying to have this sort of conversation with a bot.
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[He continues.]
I suppose you know what happens to the ones that get sent back? Resale's illegal; it's an issue of privacy, they say. Apparently, you could overhear all sorts of things, hanging around our houses as you do.
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[He might be testing, just a little. Trying to provoke a reaction.]
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I enjoy existence. However, I am a machine. You would not need to feel guilt or remorse for disposing of a tool not useful to you.
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I have programming. [ Which is the best answer he can come up with. ] Androids are designed to feel real, Mr. Solomons.
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Yeah. But are they designed to feel real to us, or to themselves?
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*curiously gdit self
i didn't even notice
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