wickedchouette | (no subject)

What for?

I don't know. [ It stutters slightly. ] I don't know. Is there anything I can do for you?

No. Short of going through my drawers and closets, just go back to doing whatever you like.

[ But. But it doesn't know...

It gives Alfie a sort of helpless look for a second, faltering. It doesn't know what it likes. It isn't supposed to like anything, it just exists. It cleans. It's supposed to clean.

So - it does. It goes to the kitchen and just starts to deep clean it, with anything that it can find. Weirdly enough, that seems to calm it down. You're fine. You're not broken. ]

For fuck's sake--

[Alfie mutters, turning on his heel to follow him.]

That doesn't need cleaning. You went out and found a cat on your own, didn't you; surely you can do things besides clean.

Not supposed to. [ It says, scrubbing the counter a little more violently than necessary. ] This is my function. Please allow me to do the work I am programmed to do.

[ The blue flickers again. ] If you have no need of my services please return me to Good Life.

[ The cat was nice, though. It liked the cat. ]

No.

[He snaps, a touch too violently.]

Absolutely fucking not.

[ It stops, frozen in place. And then it looks back at Alfie. ]

I'm not real. [ It says. It's voice is quieter. ] I am a machine programmed to tidy your apartment. I look human, and react like a human, but I am not. You don't have to feel guilt over returning me.

If I cannot perform my primary function, I am useless to you. That falls under reasonable explanations for recycling. They'll pay for shipping.

Edited 2019-03-04 23:18 (UTC)

[Evenly:]

Unreal things do not get sad over cats.

[ Suddenly, without warning, it slams a fist down onto the counter. It - breaks a tile. Sorry, Alfie. A beat. Another.

Very, very calmly: ]

Then I am broken, and you need to send me to my manufacturer so that they can fix the problem.

[Alfie frowns a little at the tile, but doesn't comment.]

What if I prefer you broken?

You should not. Deviants are unstable and unpredictable.

[Alfie snorts.]

What part of what I've said makes you think I want stable and predictable?

[ The ring goes yellow again and stays there. ]

You don't understand what unstable and unpredictable means, Mr. Solomons. I am much stronger and much less vulnerable than you are. If I'm broken, I could hurt you enough to kill you.

[He deadpans:]

Goodness gracious. And me, a wilting flower.

[ It falters, again. A long pause. ]

I don't understand what you want out of me. You won't let me perform my primary function but you won't send me back, either. Do you want me to stand in a corner and do nothing? I don't understand.

No, I don't; I told you already. You did it well enough before.

That isn't what I'm programmed to do. I am not a companion model, that isn't - I don't --

[ Its speech stutters, and the yellow ring flickers between yellow and red. It almost looks distressed. It can't repeat an anomaly in its programming. It doesn't have free will. ]

[Alfie's jaw works, because he doesn't actually want this thing to blow up, but.]

Well. I'm the customer, and it's what I want. That makes it all right, surely.

[ It's like trying to force a square block through a circle hole. It wants to do what Alfie wants it to do but whatever it wants isn't defined enough. It stutters again. ]

I don't have wants. I can't do whatever I like because I don't have likes. I can't do what you are asking me to do. I can't follow your orders because they are impossible.

Think about it.

[Says Alfie. And then he turns to leave the room.]

[ Alfie leaves, and the android just stands there, for a long, long moment. And then finally it - just goes back to cleaning. This is what it wants to do. Right? It - it has to be what it wants.

That cat has got its sights on Alfie's apartment though, now that it knows where the thing that fed it lives. ]

[It sure has. Not even half an hour has gone by before it shows up again, appearing on the fire escape and looking curiously through the window at the bot. Hello, friend. She recognizes you!

Alfie, off in his bedroom, doesn't notice.]

[ Kitty!! The android actually smiles. After a moment, it drops the sponge it was using and wander over to the window. It opens the window, and without really thinking, offers its hand out. ]

[The cat sniffs his fingers delicately, and then hops through the window, looking around the small apartment. Nice digs.]