wickedchouette | (no subject)

Are you petting me with your face.

[Root, you weirdo. She snuggles in, careful not to press any part of herself against Root's abdomen.]

Keep doing that.

[ In response, Root chuckles and does it again. 'I love you' is the easy (and very much true) next thing to say, but she thinks back to the Barge and how she learned to communicate the sentiment differently.

So-- ]

I feel so warm right now. The anesthesia had me feeling cold and weak. But now, with you... everything feels cozy and relaxed.

Not too warm, right? You gotta tell me if I'm overheating you.

[But her eyes drift closed, half-lidding.]

I'm warm, too. My, uh--

[She'd learned her own lessons on the Barge: about picking out physical sensations that might match well with emotions.]

My muscles are relaxed, even though they were tense a few hours ago.

Perfect warm.

[ Root carefully manages to turn her head enough to kiss Shaw on the head. ]

Relaxed is good. Nourished is good. You'll be back to kicking ass in no time.

You, too. Not quite as quick as me, though.

[Shaw closes her eyes, settling against Root with a soft sigh.]

I can sleep here tonight. Unless the nurses kick me out; if that happens I'll go hide in a supply closet and sneak back in later.

[This is said with the utmost seriousness.]

I'm not above begging them to let you stay.

[ After all they'd been through even before the Barge, Root is a big fan of not wasting the time they get together. ]

But if you have to step out... think you can bring Bear?

You're on the second floor. I bet I could sneak him in through a window.

[This is not a joke; she's already plotting out exactly how she could make this happen.]

Perfect. My favorite girl and my best boy.

[ Root closed her eyes. It's taking her a little more effort to talk. Healing is hard work. ]

I'm gonna fall asleep soon. Stay and eat here? I won't be mad if you have to leave.

[ But she won't particularly like it, either. ]

Unless some big emergency happens, you're stuck with me.

["Some big emergency" is, obviously, not out of the realm of possibility. They're fighting a war, and one that they're nearing the end of; just because the final big push isn't happening right now doesn't mean it couldn't start at any moment. But that's all the more reason for them to rest when they can.]

So, food first, then Bear? I bet he'd be good at hiding in supply closets.

Yes. You need to eat a proper meal first.

[ Or something better than protein bars. Root gives Shaw the gentlest squeeze. ]

No one else I'd rather be stuck with. I'll make it up to you as soon as I'm able.

You're making it up to me right now.

[She's making it up to her just by being alive.

And right at that moment, an Uber Eats driver walks into the room, followed closely by a very unamused-looking nurse.]

You're on a restricted diet.

[She tells Root sternly, just in case she's looking at the meal and getting any thoughts (please, as if Shaw would let her). ]

And visiting hours end in fifteen minutes.

[ Root is not above begging or making the saddest, most pitiful faces, but of which she does now. ]

But she's my girlfriend. It's her dinner. I almost died. She has to stay.

[ :C ]

I won't let her eat any of the food. Puppy-dog eyes don't work on me; I can deny her without feeling an ounce of guilt.

[Surely this is helping, right?]

[ The delivery driver, clearly ready to get on with their evening, puts the paper bag on the table farthest from the bed, murmurs a quick thanks, and scuttles out of the room before anyone can say anything else. ]

It's true, [ Root says, backing Shaw up. ] Besides, nothing is appetizing right now.

[ The nurse sighs but does not roll her eyes. She's dealt with worse, and at least these two aren't being aggressive or vulgar at her. ]

Let me verify your chart. [ Then, to Shaw-- ] If you're not authorized, you're not staying. No exceptions.

[ She heads off to the nurses' station to check. ]

You're authorized, [ Root tells Shaw. ] She took care of it.

[ It's really nice, being friends with god. ]

[Mark this down as one of the very few times that someone has spoken with Shaw and deemed her "not aggressive".]

You ever worry that this is going to go to my head?

[Shaw loops her leg around Root's, pulling her in closer.]

I mean, we both know it's gone to your head, but I could go mad with power too.

[ Nurses deal with some kinda nonsense. Shaw being Shaw is a breath of fresh air. The nurse is much less sharp with them when she pops in briefly to let them know Shaw is okay to stay, then goes back off to keep working. ]

No. You're the level-headed one between the two of us.

[ She sighs, smiling. ]

But what would you do if it got to your head?

[Root may mean it as a joke, but Shaw actually takes the question seriously, pausing to think it over before responding.]

Most of the things I want for myself aren't things the Machine can give me.

[She doesn't want political or social capital, she doesn't want excessive amounts of money. She does like the idea of easy access to intel, but for the job, not for perBsonal reasons.]

But if my priorities were different and my access level was the same, you know I could be dangerous.

Mm.

[ Shaw is dangerous, yes. To their enemies, mostly. To people who do wrong for the sake of it, for no reason that merits the wrongs. Shaw is competent and strong and alluring. But Shaw is also unspeakably kind, and gentle, and she makes Root stronger simply by being here and being herself. ]

Don't let your steaks get cold.

[ ...and she makes Root softer, which perhaps is one of the most dangerous things Shaw can do. Root would have burnt down entire countries to rescue Shaw, if not for the Machine, if not for the team helping her learn that she can't just go after what she wants because she has the ability. ]

We can be dangerous together when I'm better.

Does that make sense, though?

[Shaw presses, taking and chewing another bite before continuing. Often, she has no qualms about talking with her mouth full, but it seems out of place in this conversation. She can take the extra time to think about her words.]

Sometimes I've wondered if the Machine worries about me. What I'm capable of, I mean. Has it ever had regrets about choosing me as its agent?

[ Root nods in response to the first question and lets Shaw eat and think in peace. It's a nice little break for Root too. Being conscious after emergency surgery is, it turns out, exhausting. ]

No. [ No regrets. ] She worries about you the way She worries about each one of us. If you're healthy, if you have what you need to recover from whatever happens, if She's asking too much of you.

[ Root pauses, listening. ]

She can tell you Herself, if you want.

No, I believe you. I don't think you'd lie to me, and I don't think it would lie to you.

[And now it's Shaw's turn to pause, focusing in on Root's bad ear.]

Is it talking to you right now?

Only when She has something She really wants to say.

[ Or when She offers to order steaks! ]

Harold had bad partners before he recruited John. People who were too reckless... or very selfish. You're not like them. You're... a lot more caring than you think you are. She trusts you.

Harold had partners before John?

[This is not only news to her, it's surprising news; she shifts around to look over at Root, her fork freezing halfway to her mouth.]

Wait. Are these bad partners why he's so paranoid? Was he not always like this?

[ Perhaps Root should have saved that for later, when she's not immediately post op. As it is, she marhals her focus and continues on. ]

I don't know much-- the Machine respects Harold's privacy-- but... no. Harold's been paranoid longer than he's been working the irrelevant numbers. He had a few partners in that. They didn't help him loosen up, though.

Did he fire them?

[A pause.]

Or did they die?