(no subject)

[devoutish]

[When the car radiator overheats for the third time in a week, Alfie takes it as a sign that it's finally time for more than just another quick tune-up.

They're in a deserted area, which is both good and bad. On the one hand, most of the dangerous gangs are still in urban areas, the way they had been before the world had gone to shit. Out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles and miles of fields with only the occasional small copse of trees, they're not likely to run into anyone at all, much less anyone dangerous. But on the other hand, if they do come across anyone, there won't be anywhere to run to or hide. Alfie, as always, has his pistol tucked into his coat pocket, and they have more weapons stashed away in the trunk. But they're a small group - no match for the bigger gangs with armored trucks and heavy artillery. If they meet one of those, they'll be slaughtered.

With his sleeves rolled up and the hood of the car open, he leans in with his tools, carefully tinkering away. He can't afford to make a mistake here - replacement parts are rare and precious. When he hears footsteps behind him, he doesn't dare look away from his work as he says sharply:]

Stay back. You don't want hot steam to the face.

Comments

[showhim]

I do. [ She offers him a smile anyway. ] That was my thin veiled attempt to see if you felt like talking or not. It's okay if you don't. I'm just reminding you that you don't have to sink alone.

[devoutish]

Next week is Ben's birthday.

[Ben, his younger brother Henry's youngest child.]

Eight. He'd be eight.

[showhim]

[ Her expression settles into something softer. ] I'm sorry. [ She rests her hand on his arm again. Maybe she hesitates a little, but she wants him to talk through it. ] I remember helping prepare for the parties. The last one was cowboy themed, wasn't it?

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[Ben had seriously scrutinized the black top hat Alfie always wore, and had decided that it just barely looked enough like a cowboy hat for him to wear it to the party.]

[showhim]

We can celebrate still, if you'd like.

[devoutish]

I don't know that I could handle it.

[There - an open, honest answer.]

[showhim]

I know. [ She frowns. ] It might be a nice way to remember, even if it's just the two of us. [ She doesn't tend to involve Royce in stuff like this, mostly because she knows that he's not good at navigating it. He might accidentally make it worse. ] It's up to you.

[devoutish]

Rather focus on Mercy's fifth, I think.

[He'll never forget what he's lost, but remembering the found family that he still has - Royce, Gwen, and their little girl - does help.]

[showhim]

[ That gets a little smile out of her. ] It's coming up soon, you're right. She... [ Gwen trails off, and sighs, pulling her hair down over her shoulder. ]

[devoutish]

[He looks over at her. Go on, Gwen.]

[showhim]

I was just going to saw she's grown up so fast. [ Gwen says quietly, glancing at Alfie. ]

[devoutish]

Doesn't feel like it's been over four years, does it.

shakes fist at typos

[showhim]

No, not really. I worry for her. [ Gwen brings her knees up to her chest. ] She has to grow up in such a terrible world.

my brain autocorrects 8]

[devoutish]

[At least she'll grow up, a part of him says. But it's a worry for him, too. And so is the worry that she won't.]

She's got us.

[showhim]

[ That's why Gwen hesitated at first - at least she'll grow up. Gwen nods. ]

She does. She has two amazing men who would do anything for her, and a mother who would do that and more. She'll be okay.

She keeps me going. All of you do.

[devoutish]

She's always felt like mine, just as much as--

[He clears his throat.]

[showhim]

She is. [ Gwen tells him gently. ] She thinks of you as family, and so do I. Royce does too, he just... has a hard time saying it.

[ Gwen holds out her hand to hold his, if he'll take it - it's a no pressure gesture, and she won't be offended if he doesn't. ] I know you love her as much as we do. I'm glad. She can use all the love she can get.

[devoutish]

[He's not really concerned about any lack of demonstrativeness from Royce. They're men. They're less open about things with each other, for the most part.

But Gwen is another story. He takes her hand and holds on.]

I don't want her growing up and thinking I see Rachel whenever I look at her face.

[Rachel had been just a year younger than Mercy - the only child of his youngest brother. Being so close in age, he'd always hoped they'd make fast friends with each other and grow up well together. And it's true that he can't help but see the dead girl in the living girl sometimes, but he doesn't want her to know it. She deserves to never feel like she's living in the shadow of the dead. She deserves to know that he really does love her for herself, and not just because she reminds him of somebody.]

[showhim]

[ Gwen smiles, small and pleased, and holds Alfie's hand tightly. It's as comforting as she feels like she can get, and it makes her feel better, as well.

As for what he says, well. Gwen shakes her head. ] You make it clear that she's a separate person. She'll be fine. And if she does think that, we can explain it to her.

She's a smart little girl, Alfie. Not that I want to give myself too much credit.

[devoutish]

When I am at my best, it's always with her.

[His best is never very good these days, but Mercy can at least make him smile. That's more than can be said for anything else - even Gwen, even Royce.]

[showhim]

[ She squeezes his hand. ] You do so well with her. It warms me up on the inside to see you and her smile.

Thank you, by the way.

[devoutish]

I should be thanking you.

[He looks over to the building, where Royce and Mercy still are.]

Yeah. I'm ready to go back.

[Letting go of Gwen, he stands, then offers her his hand again to help her up, if she wants it.]

[showhim]

We can thank each other. [ She concedes. Gwen does take his hand when he offers to help him up, and squeezes it one more time before letting go to brush herself off. ]

Do you want to sit with Mercy until she falls asleep tonight? [ Gwen asks, turning to lead the way. ]

[devoutish]

If Duster's willing to give her up.

[showhim]

I'm sure I can distract him.