(no subject)

[devoutish]

[When the car radiator overheats for the third time in a week, Alfie takes it as a sign that it's finally time for more than just another quick tune-up.

They're in a deserted area, which is both good and bad. On the one hand, most of the dangerous gangs are still in urban areas, the way they had been before the world had gone to shit. Out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles and miles of fields with only the occasional small copse of trees, they're not likely to run into anyone at all, much less anyone dangerous. But on the other hand, if they do come across anyone, there won't be anywhere to run to or hide. Alfie, as always, has his pistol tucked into his coat pocket, and they have more weapons stashed away in the trunk. But they're a small group - no match for the bigger gangs with armored trucks and heavy artillery. If they meet one of those, they'll be slaughtered.

With his sleeves rolled up and the hood of the car open, he leans in with his tools, carefully tinkering away. He can't afford to make a mistake here - replacement parts are rare and precious. When he hears footsteps behind him, he doesn't dare look away from his work as he says sharply:]

Stay back. You don't want hot steam to the face.

Comments

[showhim]

[ Walking for hours has made all of them sore and exhausted and grouchy. Mercy can't walk for long periods of time - she tries, bless her heart, because even as a four year old she knows it's important. Gwen and Royce still end up carrying her a good portion of the time. Not that either of them mind, not in the least.

Still, by the time night hits, Gwen is relieved to rest. They set up camp in an abandoned building that has half of the ceiling caved in, and Royce starts a fire. He gathers Mercy up and feeds her first, like always, and Gwen gives both of them a kiss before wandering out to find Alfie.

She's a little worried - she knows the long walks are terrible on Alfie especially, and she's got something she found and has been keeping safe for this purpose. So when she finds Alfie, wherever he may be, she sits next to him, easily resting shoulder to shoulder with a little smile and a can of food, waiting for him to look at her. ]

[devoutish]

[As usual, Alfie spends most of the walk leaning heavily on his cane, and he can never help out as much as he wants to - not with carrying supplies, or with carrying the baby. He never feels like Royce and Gwen are going to leave him behind because of his lack of ability to fully contribute; they're old friends of many years, after all. But he cares about them, and he does worry - they're two people, doing the carrying for four.

He tries to make up for it by doing as much as he can when they're stopped - he cooks, he fixes things, he cares for Mercy so her parents can rest. But he hasn't been the same since the death of his family, and the dark moods settle on him frequently and for long periods of time. Today is particularly bad, and so as soon as they stop, he makes some sort of excuse and wanders off. He sits at the base of a tall three about a hundred yards away from the building, and just stares off blankly into space.

When Gwen sits down next to him, it takes him a while to react. Finally, he turns to look at her.]

Yeah?

[showhim]

I just wanted to make sure you ate something. [ Gwen tells him gently. She's sensitive to mood, far so more than Royce, who pretends like nothing is wrong ever, so she knows Alfie's having an especially rough day today. Doesn't bother her. She can't even imagine what it must be like to lose everyone so suddenly like that.

She's also a touchy person by nature, which means she sets the can of food down and rests a hand on Alfie's forearm. ]

I've never been very good at letting you skip meals.

[devoutish]

[On the touchy-feely scale, Alfie falls somewhere between Gwen and Royce. He doesn't reach out to touch often (Mercy being an exception), but he doesn't normally flinch away from it either, especially when it's coming from someone he knows so well. Gwen is family, to him. He rarely shrugs her off.]

-- Yeah. Thanks.

[His voice is a little hoarse, but there's genuine feeling buried down in there, under the numbness. He sets to work at opening the can.]

[showhim]

[ She leaves her hand there for a moment or two, and then pulls it back, wrapping her arms around her waist instead. She turns her head to look out across the landscape, not in a hurry to do much but keep Alfie company. The hoarse quality to his tone worries her, but Gwen is patient. She has to be, to have been with Royce for as long as she has.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Gwen settles straight-backed and proper against the tree, folding her legs and letting her hands settle in her lap. ]

You've been quiet today. [ Gwen says after a moment, glancing at him. Gently teasing: ] Between you and Royce, I feel like such a blabbermouth.

[devoutish]

Been thinking.

[For a moment, it sounds like he's going to leave it at that, but then he adds:]

It's easy to get caught up in it.

[showhim]

I can sympathize. It's a little like quicksand, sometimes. [ Gwen says, tilting her head back to look up at the sky. ] Can I ask what you've been thinking about? [ She thinks she already knows. ]

[devoutish]

I think you know, don't you.

[Sorry, Gwen. He might not be as bad as Royce, but he'll still often shy away from directly talking about his feelings.]

[showhim]

I do. [ She offers him a smile anyway. ] That was my thin veiled attempt to see if you felt like talking or not. It's okay if you don't. I'm just reminding you that you don't have to sink alone.

[devoutish]

Next week is Ben's birthday.

[Ben, his younger brother Henry's youngest child.]

Eight. He'd be eight.

[showhim]

[ Her expression settles into something softer. ] I'm sorry. [ She rests her hand on his arm again. Maybe she hesitates a little, but she wants him to talk through it. ] I remember helping prepare for the parties. The last one was cowboy themed, wasn't it?

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[Ben had seriously scrutinized the black top hat Alfie always wore, and had decided that it just barely looked enough like a cowboy hat for him to wear it to the party.]

[showhim]

We can celebrate still, if you'd like.

[devoutish]

I don't know that I could handle it.

[There - an open, honest answer.]

[showhim]

I know. [ She frowns. ] It might be a nice way to remember, even if it's just the two of us. [ She doesn't tend to involve Royce in stuff like this, mostly because she knows that he's not good at navigating it. He might accidentally make it worse. ] It's up to you.

[devoutish]

Rather focus on Mercy's fifth, I think.

[He'll never forget what he's lost, but remembering the found family that he still has - Royce, Gwen, and their little girl - does help.]

[showhim]

[ That gets a little smile out of her. ] It's coming up soon, you're right. She... [ Gwen trails off, and sighs, pulling her hair down over her shoulder. ]

[devoutish]

[He looks over at her. Go on, Gwen.]

[showhim]

I was just going to saw she's grown up so fast. [ Gwen says quietly, glancing at Alfie. ]

[devoutish]

Doesn't feel like it's been over four years, does it.

shakes fist at typos

[showhim]

No, not really. I worry for her. [ Gwen brings her knees up to her chest. ] She has to grow up in such a terrible world.

my brain autocorrects 8]

[devoutish]

[At least she'll grow up, a part of him says. But it's a worry for him, too. And so is the worry that she won't.]

She's got us.

[showhim]

[ That's why Gwen hesitated at first - at least she'll grow up. Gwen nods. ]

She does. She has two amazing men who would do anything for her, and a mother who would do that and more. She'll be okay.

She keeps me going. All of you do.

[devoutish]

She's always felt like mine, just as much as--

[He clears his throat.]

[showhim]

She is. [ Gwen tells him gently. ] She thinks of you as family, and so do I. Royce does too, he just... has a hard time saying it.

[ Gwen holds out her hand to hold his, if he'll take it - it's a no pressure gesture, and she won't be offended if he doesn't. ] I know you love her as much as we do. I'm glad. She can use all the love she can get.