wickedchouette | (no subject)

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[When the car radiator overheats for the third time in a week, Alfie takes it as a sign that it's finally time for more than just another quick tune-up.

They're in a deserted area, which is both good and bad. On the one hand, most of the dangerous gangs are still in urban areas, the way they had been before the world had gone to shit. Out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles and miles of fields with only the occasional small copse of trees, they're not likely to run into anyone at all, much less anyone dangerous. But on the other hand, if they do come across anyone, there won't be anywhere to run to or hide. Alfie, as always, has his pistol tucked into his coat pocket, and they have more weapons stashed away in the trunk. But they're a small group - no match for the bigger gangs with armored trucks and heavy artillery. If they meet one of those, they'll be slaughtered.

With his sleeves rolled up and the hood of the car open, he leans in with his tools, carefully tinkering away. He can't afford to make a mistake here - replacement parts are rare and precious. When he hears footsteps behind him, he doesn't dare look away from his work as he says sharply:]

Stay back. You don't want hot steam to the face.

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[Alfie, by and large, isn't a crier. It's not that he represses his feelings - tears just don't come easily, even when he's sad. But tonight, his eyes and cheeks are wet.

He bends down, picking her up in his arms and cradling her close.]

None of this was your fault, sweetheart.

[His voice is a little thick, but it's firm and sure. She's said a few things that have worried him on that front, and he doesn't want her feeling guilty or blaming herself.]

[ She clings to him like she did Royce, earlier. She rests her head on his shoulder and holds tight, like she can will whatever comfort she has in her out in the form of a hug. She's still scared, but mostly, she doesn't like how upset the two of them are. It feels good to have someone worry, but also bad, she thinks. ]

I know. [ Mercy says quietly, hiding her face. ] It's not yours or Daddy's either, okay? [ She knows that, too. ]

[He hmmms to her; that's a yes. And she's right - it wasn't their fault. But it was their responsibility to keep her safe, and he knows that for a while, both of them are going to feel like they failed in that at least a little bit.]

Are you having trouble sleeping?

Um. [ She stalls, shifting her hold around Alfie's shoulders. She doesn't want to answer that. ] Maybe a little. [ She lifts her head, bringing a hand up so she can use her sleeve to dry some of the wetness on Alfie's cheeks. It's a nice way to be distracting. ] I'm okay. Or, um. I'll be okay.

[It's worrying to Alfie when she does that. Royce is a brother to him, and he loves him, but he hates the idea of Mercy growing up to be as closed off as he is, for any reason. So even though he isn't the sort to talk about his own feelings much, he tries to with Mercy, especially now that her mother is gone. He wants her to have some sense that feeling is okay. He knows Royce wouldn't tell her that it isn't, or openly encourage her to shut herself down. But kids have a way of picking up on things, and Mercy is no different.]

Yeah. I've been having some trouble too, myself. If you need to, you tell me or your dad, all right? I know he won't mind.

[ Hearing it from Alfie helps. Royce doesn't ever talk about his own feelings - keeps them bottled up and lets them go sour. Mercy sees it and thinks it's tough, that it's the way she should be. She has to be tough to survive, they all do, and she wants to be like her dad, wants to be strong.

She doesn't realize the way Royce does it is unhealthy. It's a good thing she has Alfie to balance it out. ]

I know. [ She says defensively at first, and then she sighs huffily and rests her head back on Alfie's shoulder. ] I think I - I think the gun was really loud, is all.

You saw a lot of awful things, today.

[He threads his fingers through her hair.]

It's all right to be scared and upset.

[ And now she hides her face. Her voice is quiet and muffled: ] ... They said a lot of things about where they were taking me.

[She'll feel his heartbeat quicken at that, and he tries not to stiffen in anger.]

Do you wanna tell me about it?

[ She gets scrunched up and upset about it. ] I - do I have to? [ She didn't understand a lot of it, but she knew enough to make assumptions and guesses. ]

You do not. No.

[He smooths a thumb over her cheek.]

You do what feels right, Mercy.

Okay, because I really... I really don't wanna. [ Mostly, she has questions she doesn't want to ask Alfie or Royce. She figures they'll just have to go unanswered, for now, which she's fine with. Maybe she'll magically figure them out when she's older.

Here's something that's been bugging her, though: ] Why - um. Why did you tell them I'm a half elf?

[ Her voice gets very small. ]

[Well, that's a question he'd expected. He'd just thought it would come from Royce - and a bit more angrily, at that.]

I wanted them to see you as valuable, yeah? Not somebody to be sold.

[Or killed.]

I hoped they'd decide to keep you to work for them, so you'd be safe until we got to you.

Oh. [ That's actually very reasonable, and she sounds surprised. Relieved, too. ] They talked about that, too. [ But it wasn't in the context of keeping her to work for them. Mostly, it was about the price they planned on demanding. ] The man with the gun said he didn't believe you 'cause I don't have pointy ears.

If--

[His breath catches. This isn't something he wants to even think about, but it's important.]

If anything like this happens again, find a way to prove it to them.

Okay. [ She says it slowly, like she's not sure why it's so important. She looks at him, expression confused, but she won't argue. ] I will. I can - I can tell them what thing say from far away. Or hear them talking when they don't think I can hear them.

Dad says not to tell anybody, though.

You know how useful you and your dad's eyes and ears are to us, yeah?

If you are ever taken, I want them to think you'll be useful to them, too. It'll make them keep you safe, healthy, and fed until you can escape or we can rescue you. Understand?

[ Right. Right, clearly laid out and almost like an order makes her understand, and she nods. It might be hard to go against her nature to keep things like this a secret, but after tonight? She's willing to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up where the bad guys talked about. ]

I was going to try to escape. [ Mercy says stubbornly. ] I got that guy. I sss-- I stabbed him right in the arm when he grabbed me! I was gonna bite that guy, too, but the one... he said he was gonna sh-shoot you.

[ Deep breath. ]

Come here.

[He pulls her a little closer against his chest.]

Your dad was right - you helped to save yourself. And we're so proud of you, yeah? The both of us.

[ She goes willingly, closing her eyes. To be honest, she's a little proud of herself. She smiles a bit, and he might be able to feel it with her face pressed against his neck. ] I'm glad. Um, thank you.

[ She thinks that's the right thing to say? Her dad is not the pinnacle of sociable behavior, so she's lacking in this department. ] Hey, um. Alfie?

[She is such a beautiful soul.]

Yeah?

[ She scoots back again and takes his face in her hands, looking firm. Like he did to her, earlier. She wrinkles her nose because beard. ]

Are you okay? [ She purses her lips a little. ] You and Daddy don't like to talk to me about stuff sometimes because I'm little. Littler. But you should talk to me if you're sad, okay? Promise.

[It's true. As much as he wants to encourage her to deal with her emotions in a healthy way, he doesn't want to go too far and make her feel like his problems should sit on her shoulders. She's only seven, and god knows the world gives her enough to deal with.]

I was scared for you.

[All-consumingly terrified, even.]

And after - it brought up bad memories.

[ She deals, the best way she can. Mercy knows Royce and Alfie don't talk about their feelings to each other, so she does what she thinks her mom might have. Tries to stand in, even a little bit. ]

Like... like from before? [ Mercy asks carefully. She doesn't remember well enough personally, but she knows Alfie lost a lot. ]

Yeah.

[He tries to keep his voice from cracking. Really, he does. It just doesn't quite work.]

My littlest niece was just a year younger than you. You used to crawl around on the floor together. She would have been a good friend to you.

[But instead Alfie had found her broken body, lying under the rubble of her house.]