[ through the wringer is an understatement, she feels like. just saying this, saying out loud what happened to her - it feels insane. ]

Um. [ she takes another drink, bringing her hand up to rub at her face. ] Both, sort of. He calmed me down using that. It's kind of like meditation? A mantra.

[ sniff. ] But he's always really calm, too. The week after - after. [ pause. ] The week after Huaisang died, Yin Yu caught me in the middle of, um. Phoenix called it a panic attack?

And we were all sharing emotions that week, and Yin Yu had a lot of calm in him that he gave to me.